Truth about divorce! Sincere confession from Senior Lawyer

Is divorce terrifying? 

Divorce is not terrifying. What’s terrible is getting entangled with people who you no longer love. We often receive calls and enquiry from clients, and the first question they usually ask the lawyer is whether they should divorce with the other half? We often tell clients whether to divorce or not is their own decision, a lawyer cannot help them to decide.

Life is short. If the pain caused by being with someone who is not suitable for you, then why bother? Perhaps the era has changed. In the 70s and 80s where divorce was a very important decision for the people at that time. But in this era, divorce is already very common.

In fact, divorce is not terrifying at all. The most terrifying thing is the trauma that some people receive in their marriage, which leads to sequelae. I have seen a lot of clients, they are traumatized in the divorce, which leads to their mental health problem. You must know that money can be earned back if you lose it, but once a mental problem arises, this will be a very difficult problem. 

I have dealt with some serious cases, such as helping a large company president in his own divorce case. The president is highly respected and has a high-paying job in his field, and even has a driver to pick him up every day. From outsider point of view, he looks like he is a superbly successful man, dressed up in a showy manner, but in fact, his family and marriage have encountered great problems, which led to his suicidal tendency. This is all because his significant other often puts pressure on him, and she even uses children to threaten him more often. But in order to maintain the beautiful side and family harmony, he decided not to divorce his wife. 

Until one day, when he checked on his child’s homework, he suddenly discovered that his child had written a composition with strong negative thoughts, and the content of the composition told him that he had seen his dad tend to commit suicide, and his child thinks suicide is the right solution to these stresses and unhappiness. Only then did the president come back to his senses, and he realized that family disharmony can have a big impact on children. So he decided to discuss with his wife to resolve the problem by divorce.

Before the end of 2019, I want to share with you some very nonsensical things in Malaysia. I believe Malaysian Chinese like to watch Hong Kong TV dramas very much. Usually, the first question that a divorce client will ask us is, does it require two years of separation for divorce? I often feel very curious about this question. We normally will ask clients why they will have such thoughts? Their answer is usually that Hong Kong drama tells them that they must live apart for two years to divorce. At this time, we will tell them in a joking tone, why don’t you wait for two years of separation before being divorced by domestic violence? In fact, a divorce in Malaysia does not necessarily have to be based on two years of separation. For example, your other partner has abandoned you for more than two years or your partner cheated on you, or your partner has acted inappropriately. these all can be a reason for divorce.

Some customers may ask whether a two-year separation means an automatic divorce? At this time, we will also answer them in a joking tone. Do we have a CCTV monitor in Malaysia that will watch you 24 hours a day to prove that you have been separated with your partner for two years?

In Malaysia, whether it is a mutual-divorce or a unilateral divorce, both parties need to go to court. Do you feel scared when you hear the word “court”? In fact, there is no need to be afraid, because the lawyer will accompany you to the court when you go to court.

That’s all for today, and I will share with you some interesting facts about divorce later. Once again, I wish you all the best in the new year.

BY Lawyer Khoo Ai Theng, P.J.K. (NSDK)


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